It's been a while...

Well my dear blog friends it's been quite some time since I've written pretty much anything. Let me just tell you now, a lot has happened.

My first year of college wrapped up and let me just say that is was quite the experience. I had some really great professors this past semester.

Another key moment from life these past few months was my grandmother passing away. It took all of us by surprise and it's still a shock.

This has pretty much been my life for the past few months. College, guy drama (which is pointless) and family.

The guy drama in short was a waste of time and taught me a lot. It taught me a lot about trust and about people. I never knew that being a "sweet" person was a bad quality when it came to relationships but I was wrong. Trusting people and looking for the best in a relationship gets you no where but hurt.

Same with trying to do things on your terms and not God's. Me being the stubborn person that I am thought I knew better than God. Fortunately for me God showed me otherwise. It may have hurt a whole lot and still kind of sting but, it was for the best. I know that God's plan is by far better than any plan that I could imagine.

Which brings us to this summer...I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS SUMMER!!!!!

For one VBS is coming up and I have the privledge of being the director of 1st grade. I have absolutely no clue what I am doing but, I know that God has a plan and it's going to be an amazing week.

Summer softball is starting up and as we all know I ADORE softball! I live for the smell of the cut grass and the clay :)

And even more exciting the possibility of a Neighborhood Impact college group house. It's quite possibly the most exciting thing EVER!!!!

So this pretty much sums up everything that has been happening in my life and, what's going to be happening in my life.

Thanks for reading :)

Rainy Days..

Well, once again it's been quite some time since I've written one of these. I haven't really had much time, but considering half of the AV is under water I have PLENTY of time.

I'll start off by saying how much I adore this weather, maybe not the immenent dangers that are sure to come from all the flooding. So besides all of that, the rain is amazing. I love looking out the window and seeing all the clouds, and the smell of the wet rain on the pavement. It's the most phenominal thing ever!

Now to update what's happened in life since the last blog. I've had one of the most amazing summers of my life, and I've completed my first semester of college.

This summer I was privledged enough to live with two of the most wonderful people I've ever met, Gramma Aunt Cay and Grandpa Uncle Jerry. I LOVE them soo much! They were so much fun to live with, and they will forever be a part of my life. I also got to work at the most amazing camp EVER, Redwood Christian Park. I worked childcare for the 3 different family camps that went there. Part of the camp experience was archery, and the best strawberry pie on fridays haha. I loved all three of the different camps, but family camp 2 was definitely my favorite. I got to work with the first and second graders, and they completely stole my heart. I cried when they left, and I still have the stuff they made for me. My most prized possesion would be the beach ball I had all of them sign. It will sit on my shelf forever! Everytime I see it it makes me think of them, and all the fun I had with them. They were SO amazing. Not that the kids I work with here aren't. I love the kids here too! hahahaha

Now to move onto my college experience. The best way to describe it is complete and utter culture shock. I didn't really expect the first day to be as shocking, but it's a day I will never forget. I ended up dropping one of my classes, which made me be 3 credits under what is considered a full course load. This stressed me out quite a bit because I need health care, and every class was full for the most part. Thankfully there was a late start health class that I was able to get, and it completely worked out. Unfortunately I didn't do to well in my online classes, found out I need to be in a classroom situation. I took History of Rock 'N' Roll, and I loved it! I learned a lot, and found out early blues is pretty amazing. I also found out just how much you can accomplish on almost no sleep. And that midterms aren't all that scarry haha.

This is pretty much my life in a nutshell. You're all caught up, and now I can try and keep this thing relatively updated.

Oh and I've also decided that I want to take up photography.. haha IDK why but, I think it's a good skill to have.

Thanks for reading :)

My BFF and Sister

This is to my dear Stacey Ann.

First off, I just want to say thank you so much for being the most amazing friend I have ever had. You've been there for me through everything, and you haven't killed me yet. You have been the person that'll tell me when I'm doing something wrong, and you've made sure I've kept on a straight path with God, and that's more than anything I could've wanted from a friend. You have actually been more than a friend. You're the older sister that I never had, and you're entire family means so much to me.



Its hard for me to sit here writting this, and think that goodbye is only a few weeks away. It's hard to think that the end of high school is almost here, and you're leaving. But I'm so excited that you're doing what God wants you to. It's so awesome to see you're life going to different places, and how you're totally letting God take control. It inspires me, and encourages me beyond belief to know that I have been so blessed to have you as my friend. And I love you so much girl, and I'm only a call away, But I have a feeling that I'll be calling you way more than you'll be calling me.



SO I love you lots, and you've been such an amazing friend. Love you girlie!

It's been a while...

So life has been busy, and altogether quite dramatic. I'm sick of the drama... no joke sick of it!

My jaw- Not really drama, but it has been a really draining experience. I was hit a few weeks ago with a softball in my mouth. It wasn't a pleasant experience. Anyways, my jaw is fractured, and they have my front 4 teeth splinted together. My front tooth broke pretty much in half, so that got fixed. Kind of there was an emergency root canal, and the dentist made a fake tooth. But my other front tooth (the one that didn't break) is dying. It's turning a really nasty color. It's really obnoxious. But, I'm glad it wasn't a bigger softball injury. There are far worse things that could've happened.

Going off of the tooth story-Softball is the most dramatic experience of mylife. I've never been so stressed out. But, it's taught me a lot. To not worry about what other people expect. Do my part. Give my 100%. Because I know if I held that back from the girls on my team I would feel horrible. If I didn't do my part I would regret it, but I'm only part of the team. And I know there are girls there that give there all, and I'm close with them. Because we have the same personality traits. They play hurt, they play sick, they play when they don't want to. Because they care about the team. So that's my goal for the season. To leave everything there on the field. And only care about my part, and not hold my breath waiting for the rest of the girls to decide they should be a varsity player.

And now what most girls deal with boys... ugh I'm sure I could write a novel on this subject alone. Recently I've talked with this kid, he is a bad choice, and I know it. That's what gets me, I know he's a bad choice. I've told my friends he's a bad choice, but do I listen to myself... NO. Ya, well tonight I did, and Sara was there to witness. I'm not just gonna be the girl he goes to when he needs something. That's lame, and a waste of time. I'm not going to settle for less that what I deserve, because that never works out. But all of this has come to the next section...

That one Boy- the first guy that I was ever really open and honest with. The one that made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable. Everytime I start to talk with a guy, he always pops up. It drives me insane! I want to move on so badly, but so much of me was put into our friendship, that I don't know if I can. He will always have a piece of my heart, regardless of if he wants it or not. There will always be songs that remind me of him. And no matter how much I want to say they don't they do. Everytime I hear them it takes me back to those memories. And yes, I have to admit, I purposely put those songs on cd's because I want to remember. I want to go back, but I can't and I need to finally grasp that. I need to realize that we will never talk again other than a hello every 6 months... No matter how much it hurts. I need to let go.

Mmkay I think that's all for now.. really a lot has been going through my head.

Because there's never a dull moment right?

So I haven't written in a while, but now I have a lot to say...

Today was one of the most fun and interesting days of my life. We did a softball garage sale, and it was amazing we made 800 total. Which is amazing, and a total blessing from God. All the fun really started last night when Dani, Sara, Chels, and I decided to bake cookies and cupcakes. Somehow I managed to burn every other dozen, and it was a mess. We played rock band for a while, and we rock! Then it was decided that we would watch a movie. Dani and Sara picked Chill a scary movie... I wasn't so excited.. I'd never seen a horror film all the way through. Which I still never have, because Chill was the worst horror film ever! It was so lame, and the acting ... hahahahaha. Today started at 5:30 this morning, and if you know me you know I don't do early. But I managed to wake up (no clue how). So the rest of the girls got to the house at around 6:30. Dani bought glitter tattoos the day before, and Taryn, Dani, Sara, and I put them on. We also found stickers that said "make offer" on them, and put them on our foreheads. It was the best garage sale ever! We got super tired because we were working on like 3-4 hours of sleep. So we all fell asleep.. I fell asleep on Babushka, so half of my face is sunburnt.. Its pretty interesting. Also throughout the course of the day we decided to go check in on the JV girls, we rolled up blasting rap music, and it was so much fun! Love the JV girls they rock. After I got home I was exhausted, and I needed to get the tattoo off my neck. Slight issue, glitter tattoos are gooey, and hard to get off. I had no clue how to go about removing it, so I sat there and peeled it off. One of the most painful experiences of my life! Nevertheless, I got the tattoo off.

End of the day, all in all it was so much fun, did nothing all that important. And now I am going to bed. I'm sure once all my brain cells are functioning I'll be ready to write more of the shenanigans and events of my day! NIGHT!

-Katie

Because English is boring right now

So in these past few weeks I've gone through an emmotional rollercoaster. I hit pretty low (no quite rock bottom) and then last night hit emmotional bliss. I've let the smallest things and questions get to me, and I let them take over all my thoughts. I've let the world just spin around me while I was stuck on a few things. I let people get the best of me, and that isn't something that normally happens.

Its times for a new start, a new beginning. This time, I'm not going to let things get to me. And this time no matter how I hate it, I'm going to put myself out there. Maybe not to just having my heart broken, but my life. I'm going to let people ask the questions I was afraid to answer. Why? Because all of the things that I've gone through have shaped the way I am today. I don't regret any of what happened because it was exactly what I wanted in that moment. God used every negative thing in my life as a way to get me back on track. And I've thankful for that.

So here's to a new beginning, to letting people know what they want to know. To being vulnerable. To being willing to let things go, and to just trust other people. Even though I've been used and taken advantage of, even though I've had my heart torn out, and ripped to shreds in front of me I'm going to trust. And I'm not going to question everything. I'm going to let myself be asked the hard questions, and I'm going to answer them honestly. Because everyone deserves honesty.

So this is my new plan.. Help keep me accountable to it. Ask me questions. I'll answer them, and I'll give you the truth...

Mmkay! Thanks!

Broken down..

Well let's start off with the simple phrase... I should've known. In those three words my entire dating/ liking life can be described in completion. I should've known better. I should've know he wouldn't like me like that. All in all I should've known. Which brings me to today.

So today... I was talking with the guy I like. We talked a lot. I didn't think it was a big deal, because he talked back. He knew I was working on english, and really needed to focus. But he just had to ask... so be honest, do you have a thing for me. Like that wouldn't kill any concentration that I had. This led to about an hour long conversation, about that subject and anything that would classify as relavant to this subject. So long conversation short, no english got done, and I got no clear answers out of him.

So I don't think he likes me, but I can't be sure. He only implied it... but then again he was all worried near the end. No, I won't do anything stupid because of a guy. They aren't worth it. And even though (if you're a guy) you might want to help. The best help you could give would be going away, letting me think. Letting me get my mind settled, and letting me grasp the words that need to be said. Did this happen nope.. All I could give were short sentences, and nothing all that important. I didn't even tell him that I liked him. I said I used to.. which is the biggest lie ever, and most guys would've gotten that. But anyways... I still like him. He was way sweet being worried, but honestly I just needed time alone. Time to gather all my emmotions, and put them in check. Time to let the old wounds that got reopened close up, time to stiffle all the feelings that were coming to the surface. So tonight... after a whole day of thinking, and a softball practice to help me gather how I feel. He's going to get the answers, and I'm going to get honesty. He isn't going to skirt questions, and I'm going to be blatantly honest.

So I've realized. I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytal. I'm not the one he'll sweep off her feet and lead up the stair well. Which is fine. I don't want a prince. I want a guy with imperfections, cause then my imperfections are okay. I don't want to be something I'm not. I want to be me, Katie. And I will be. I was with him, but now he's gonna see the fighter side in me.

So that's all for now... laters!

So what did I do, I found comfort in my Taylor Swift CD.