Broken down..

Well let's start off with the simple phrase... I should've known. In those three words my entire dating/ liking life can be described in completion. I should've known better. I should've know he wouldn't like me like that. All in all I should've known. Which brings me to today.

So today... I was talking with the guy I like. We talked a lot. I didn't think it was a big deal, because he talked back. He knew I was working on english, and really needed to focus. But he just had to ask... so be honest, do you have a thing for me. Like that wouldn't kill any concentration that I had. This led to about an hour long conversation, about that subject and anything that would classify as relavant to this subject. So long conversation short, no english got done, and I got no clear answers out of him.

So I don't think he likes me, but I can't be sure. He only implied it... but then again he was all worried near the end. No, I won't do anything stupid because of a guy. They aren't worth it. And even though (if you're a guy) you might want to help. The best help you could give would be going away, letting me think. Letting me get my mind settled, and letting me grasp the words that need to be said. Did this happen nope.. All I could give were short sentences, and nothing all that important. I didn't even tell him that I liked him. I said I used to.. which is the biggest lie ever, and most guys would've gotten that. But anyways... I still like him. He was way sweet being worried, but honestly I just needed time alone. Time to gather all my emmotions, and put them in check. Time to let the old wounds that got reopened close up, time to stiffle all the feelings that were coming to the surface. So tonight... after a whole day of thinking, and a softball practice to help me gather how I feel. He's going to get the answers, and I'm going to get honesty. He isn't going to skirt questions, and I'm going to be blatantly honest.

So I've realized. I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytal. I'm not the one he'll sweep off her feet and lead up the stair well. Which is fine. I don't want a prince. I want a guy with imperfections, cause then my imperfections are okay. I don't want to be something I'm not. I want to be me, Katie. And I will be. I was with him, but now he's gonna see the fighter side in me.

So that's all for now... laters!

So what did I do, I found comfort in my Taylor Swift CD.